The Words and the Bees

The bees are waiting for me at the Angel Motel in the city of Orange.  My friend said she saw them there.  They came out of his mouth while he was yelling at me like any murderer would yell.  Everytime he opens his mouth I see them coming, coming to eat my face off, coming to sting me over and over again.  They can’t get to me right now because they don’t know where I am but they are searching.  They are looking for me to drag me into that apartment at the hotel so they can rape me over and over and teach me a lesson.  To teach me that I am not ok and that I am not going to be ok no matter how hard I work or how hard I try to be.  They wait for me, buzzing and furious, luring me and compiling a stash of party favors sickeningly sweet like honey for numbing me into a coma of shame and regret.  To rot my teeth and make me pick my skin off, to age me and allow me to see the things crawling around under my skin, to kill me, to sell me, to eat my soul.  Swarming, waiting, patient are the bees that flew out of his mouth.  The bees are babies of the bigger threat.  The ones that fly and don’t have stingers but sharp teeth and claws and hypnotic eyes.  The ones big enough to wreck my jeep when they fly into the road to stop me from escaping.  I see them, and I’m not running to or away from them.  I am sitting still, knowing they are there, and trying not to be afraid.  When his voice changes and calls me, like the whispering sign at that hotel.  Come, Savannah, come see us, we are waiting for you, remember us?  Come Savannah, come play with us, we were your friends remember?  Saaaaaavaaaaaaanaaaaaaah, why don’t you come over?  Why don’t you come over so that we can make things clear?  He screams you are vile.  You are disgusting.  When I see your face it makes me physically ill.  Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, don’t let them hear me, don’t let them know I’m fighting, don’t let them know that I am gathering troops for battle.

They already know.  They always do, they know everything I think before I think it. 

They built the nest gigantic.